A couple of weeks ago we hit up our local Lowe's in search of a new houseplant. I was as shocked as anyone to see that, a good two weeks before Halloween, they had already busted out there Christmas inventory. I take that back. I do believe Elli was more shocked.

Elli doesn't yet know what Christmas is. She celebrated with us last year, but she didn't really get it. Wrapping paper was one of the highlights of her holiday season. So it was baptism by fire that she was introduced to the American interpretation of the holiday season in isle 3 of Lowe's.

A glazed look took over her face. Her body language became pensive as she half-clung to me. Everything was so foreign, so strange. There was so much of it, whatever "it" was. It was as though we had entered the belly of a great beast that had swallowed up every inflatable holiday lawn decoration know to humanity.

As freaky as it was, the incredible display of cheer was impossible to ignore. Her eyes cautiously took in the huge inflatable snow globe, the huge inflatable reindeer, the huge inflatable snowman, the huge inflatable santa, the huge inflatable black incarnation of santa. I dare say, she was not impressed.

You know you have punked Christmas when you manage to make kids not like it. Good job Corporate America.

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