I Am America

Category: , , By Christian
I didn't vote today. I voted a week ago. I voted while sitting on my couch and watching Sportscenter. Then I tidily folded up my ballot and sent it off in the mail.

Wait in line? Pfffffffffft. As if. I ain't waiting in line for anything if I don't have to. People can feel free to follow me, but I ain't lookin' at nobody's backside for 20 minutes. You crazy, son.

What's that? Oh. Chick-fil-a is giving out free sandwiches since it's Election Day? Holla at ya' boy! That's what I'm talking about. Ok. I'll wait in line for 20 minutes. Becuase I'm American. Because I love convenience almost (but not quite) as much as I love a $3.50 chicken sandwich. That's worth looking at some backside for.

You know what the hardest part of waiting in line for 20 minutes to get free food is? Behaving yourself.

One of the things that cracks me up is how often people have misued the word "socialism" these past few weeks. Like, there is a big difference between big government and socialism, technically speaking. There's a big difference between socializing certain programs and being a socialist country. But we're not generally skilled in the art of nuance when it comes time to vote. We're more the broad-stroke life-or-death kind of people.

So the term has been misused and people are all worked up about it. It's actually turned into a slur of sorts, but this too shall pass.

So anyway, I'm sitting there in line when I see some people with McCain shirts on. And this idea pops into my head.

Wouldn't it be really funny if I raised my fist up in the air and hollered at the top of my lungs, "Free food for the masses. Socialists UNIIIIIIITE."

Now that would freak some people out. But then I remembered that I didn't want to get people all worked up on election day, so I just stood there and played with a straw instead.

Renew and Restore

1 comment so far.

  1. Jennifer 6:23 PM
    you're not going to believe this--i waited almost 1 1/2hrs. in line today to vote...in STERLING!!!!!! had i known that would've happened, i'da been all over a ballot from home! good grief. all that and there's not even a chick-fil-a close enough to make it worth the while!!!

Something to say?