The Christmas Story. Quite possibly, one of my favorite non-religious yultide traditions. The Red Rider toy gun, the little boy unable to stand up because of his over-restrictive winter onesie, the tongue getting stuck to the flag pole on the double-dog-dare. So many beautiful memories wrapped up into one glorious two-hour package that is repeated 12 times straight on Christmas Eve thanks to our good friends at TBS.

Haven't you always wanted to relive just a moment from the film? I know I sure have. But alas, I don't want to go to the hospital for frostbite on my tongue. I don't want to get my mouth washed out with soap. I'm against guns, so that whole beebee deal is a no go.

But halt! Fate has stepped in and provided the opportunity for life to imitate art. Right now, at deepdiscount.com, for the low low price of $85.95 both you and I can procure our very own leg lamp. What glorious opportunities doth behold us in this first day after Thanksgiving. It's at times like this where only the words of the foremost contemporary philosopher can adequately frame how fortunate we are.

To quote Napoleon Dynamite..."Lucky!"

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