HDTV. It solves all of your problems. According to all of the commercials I've seen, at least. They help couples get along better. They provide opportunities for families to spend quality time together. And as we all know, nothing says "quality time" like passively staring at a television.

The KC Royals have bought into the theory that HDTV makes life better. Bought into it so much that in the off season they installed the biggest HD screen in the country. It's flippin' huge. And bright. Almost retina burning. I'm pretty sure it's the number one killer of flying insects.

It's pretty cool. Though I can't help but think the good old Royals are compensating a bit. We're not that good, but at least our TV is bigger than yours.

I, for one, don't have a HDTV. I do have a decent 25-inch standard tube TV, though. It's good. While I'd love to have and HDTV, it's just not in the old budget. So I had to settle for the second best option.

Get my smiling grill on the biggest HDTV in the country before the Dallas Cowboys put a bigger one in their new stadium. Everything is dumber bigger in Texas.

Lucky me, my moment in glory came this past weekend. Stacy, Elli and I were enjoying a night out at The Royals, when we made it on Kiss Cam!!! It's one of the greatest features of the giant video board technology. The cameras pan the audience looking for random couples, and then plaster them up on the screen until they smooch. They always end it with a cute old couple, except on the occasion that they frame two players on the opposing team for the grand finale.

Mark it down. On Aug 23, 2008 Stacy and I professed our love for each other for all to see.

Because nothing says "I Love My Wife" like sucking face with her in high def with an audience of 20,000 people cheering you on.

Fair Dinkum