Best Day Ever*

Category: By Christian
The asterisk can communicate many a splendid thing. It can communicate that people think you used steroids and growth hormones to bulk up, thus they look at your sporting achievements with a bit of doubt. Or, it could mean that your proposition has some sort of loophole that will be explained at the bottom of the page in legal jargon. In this case, it is meant to convey the fact that I evaluate life events on on two separate scales.

Some days of my life are in the running for Best Day Ever (no asterisk) because they hold deep emotional or spiritual significance. The day I got married. The day we went to the orphanage to pick up Elli. Really important days.

But then there is another group of days. Days that hold little significance, but that exist in my mind as days where I accomplished achievements on a grand and mythical scale. These are the days whose stories grow in stature each year. These are the days that make other grown men giggle while at the same time causing a twinge of jealousy to spark deep in their sternum as my feats of manhood are recalled.

October 7, 2007 will be one such day. For many years to come, it will be in the running to be named my Best Day Ever*. For it is on that very day that I will be a judge for the 28th Annual American Royal Barbecue Competition: Open Meats Division. It will be my honor and privilege to sample and grade approximately four pounds of smoked meat in one of the most prestigious meat smoking competitions around.

Please know that I take this job very seriously. It's not all fun and games here, people. A lot is on the line. The grand champion is awarded a new competition smoker, as well as a cash prize of $12,000. It's kind of a big deal.

I'll be honest. This is like Christmas for me. I may very well fall into a meat coma when all is said and done. I probably need to procure a designated driver, just in case my body isn't properly able to process all of the protein in a timely manner.

I've already warned Stacy that I'm going to be pretty ridiculous following the festivities. I've wanted to enter a contest such as this for a while, but am still honing my skills before I go pro. Knowing how these things are judged can only help my chances when that wonderful day comes, though I'm sure this will give me the itch to get in there and rumble with the big boys. Don't worry. When the time comes for me to join the circuit, you'll read it here first.

Fair Dinkum

1 comment so far.

  1. adam paul 9:55 PM
    from one skiny punk to another - 4 pounds? yeah right.

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